How to Make This Valentine’s Day Actually Meaningful (Without Falling For Just The Clichés)
Introduction
Valentine’s Day has a reputation.
The overpriced roses, the heart-shaped everything, the pressure to create the perfect romantic moment. And while I love flowers, I would absolutely love the jewelry I’ve saved on my Pinterest board (take notes), and I’m a sucker for all things romance… I also know this day has become an overpriced, commercialized spectacle.
But that doesn’t mean we should ignore it.
I call it Love Day because, at its core, that’s what it is—a reminder. A moment to pause and say:
"You matter to me. I don’t take you for granted. And I want you to know just how much I love you."
Because real love isn’t about one grand gesture once a year. It’s about the small, daily moments that build connection, trust, and intimacy.
So instead of rolling your eyes at Valentine’s Day or checking off the usual “romantic” boxes, use it as an opportunity to reflect, reconnect, and love your partner in a way that actually resonates with them.
Let’s talk about how to make Valentine’s Day—and every day after it—count.
Section 1: Love in a Way That Actually Matters to Them
Love isn’t one-size-fits-all. What feels romantic and meaningful to you might not be what makes your partner feel loved.
We tend to show love the way we like to receive it, but true connection comes from understanding how your partner naturally experiences love and meeting them there.
Here’s how to celebrate Valentine’s Day (and beyond) in a way that speaks to them:
If They Feel Love Through Words, Make Them Feel Heard
Some people thrive on verbal affirmation. To them, words aren’t just words—they are connection.
Valentine’s Idea: Write a love letter that goes beyond “I love you.” Be specific. What moments with them do you cherish? What about them makes your life better? Read it aloud if you can.
Daily Love Practice:
Acknowledge the small things they do.
Express appreciation with detail—tell them why you admire them.
Leave handwritten notes where they’ll find them.
If They Feel Love Through Actions, Show Up Where It Counts
For some, love isn’t about what you say—it’s about what you do. Thoughtful actions, big or small, make them feel valued.
Valentine’s Idea: Take something off their plate. A stress-free day where they don’t have to handle anything, where their responsibilities are covered, and they can just breathe.
Daily Love Practice:
Notice the little things they need help with and step in before they ask.
Make their morning easier—bring them coffee, prep their breakfast, take care of an errand.
Ask, “What’s one thing I can do for you today?”—and then follow through.
If They Feel Love Through Gifts, Make It Thoughtful
For some, receiving a meaningful gift isn’t about materialism—it’s about feeling seen. It’s about knowing you were thinking about them, paying attention, and remembering what matters to them.
Valentine’s Idea: Instead of grabbing something generic, give a gift that shows you know them. A book they mentioned weeks ago, a framed photo of a special memory, or something deeply personal.
Daily Love Practice:
Pay attention when they mention something they like and make a note of it.
Surprise them with small, thoughtful things—something that says I saw this and thought of you.
Wrap meaning into gifts. A playlist of songs that remind you of them, a handwritten letter inside a book, or a souvenir from a special place.
If They Feel Love Through Quality Time, Be Fully Present
For some, love isn’t about words or things—it’s about undivided attention. Feeling truly seen, heard, and prioritized.
Valentine’s Idea: Create a tech-free experience—an uninterrupted evening of deep conversation, a walk under the stars, or an adventure together.
Daily Love Practice:
Put away distractions when they’re talking to you.
Build little rituals—morning coffee together, a 10-minute check-in before bed.
Make time for experiences that let you connect beyond surface-level conversation.
If They Feel Love Through Physical Touch, Go Beyond Just Sex
For some, touch isn’t just physical—it’s emotional. It’s how they feel grounded, close, and safe.
Valentine’s Idea: Create an experience that builds anticipation throughout the day—lingering touches, whispered affection, small moments of physical closeness that build intimacy before the night even starts.
Daily Love Practice:
Hold hands, cuddle, stay physically close.
Give long hugs—the kind that makes them feel secure.
In the bedroom, prioritize presence, exploration & connection over routine.
Section 2: The Power of the Right Questions
Love isn’t just about gestures—it’s about understanding each other.
One of the earliest times I felt truly 100% seen wasn’t during some grand moment. It was at 4 AM, sitting with people I cared about, talking about what actually mattered, over a bowl of cereal or Nutella sandwiches.
No distractions. No small talk. Just curiosity and presence.
That’s the kind of connection that leaves an impact.
And that’s exactly why better questions & presence lead to better relationships.
Instead of:
“How was your day?” → “What was the most unexpected part of your day?”
“How are you?” → “What’s something you’re feeling really grateful for right now?”
“What do you want to do this weekend?” → “What’s something you’ve been craving more of in your life?”
Put Your Phone Down & Try These Instead:
“What’s a memory from our relationship that always makes you smile?”
“What’s one thing you’ve learned about yourself in the past year?”
“When do you feel most at peace?”
“What’s a passion or interest you haven’t fully explored yet?”
“If you could relive one day of your life, just to experience it again, what day would it be?”
“What’s something I do that makes you feel the most loved?”
“What is one thing you wish I understood better about you?”
“What’s a belief or perspective you’ve changed your mind about recently?”
“If we had an entire day with no responsibilities, how would you want to spend it?”
“What’s a challenge you’re facing right now that you haven’t talked much about?”
Deep conversations aren’t about forcing vulnerability—they’re about creating space for it. The more you ask, the more you learn. And the more you learn, the stronger your relationship becomes.
Because real connection doesn’t happen in the highlights. It happens in the late-night talks, the random deep dives, and the willingness to go beyond the surface.
Section 3: Love is a Practice, Not a Destination
A lot of people think great relationships are about finding the right person—but the truth is, healthy relationships aren’t found, they’re built.
Love isn’t something you achieve and then set on autopilot. It’s something you choose and cultivate, over and over again. And that means being willing to keep learning how to show up better for each other.
Because no matter how much love exists between two people, no relationship can thrive without:
Commitment – Choosing each other, even when it’s inconvenient.
Curiosity – Continuously learning what makes your partner feel loved, seen, and understood.
Adaptability – Growing together instead of growing apart.
Healthy love isn’t about expecting your partner to stay the same—it’s about committing to understanding each other as you both evolve.
How to Keep Growing Together:
Make check-ins a habit, not just a fix for problems.
Stay curious about each other as you both evolve.
Love them how they need to be loved, not just how you like to love.
Grow through conflict, don’t just get through it.
At the end of the day, love isn’t about being perfect for each other—it’s about being willing to keep growing for each other.
Conclusion: Keep Choosing Love, Every Day
Because real love isn’t just one day a year—it’s a daily practice of learning, growing, and choosing each other.
